Your student will arrive on Missouri Western’s campus this week if they are living on campus, and they will start attending classes next week. You are wondering how their first several weeks of the semester will go. Will they want to come home every weekend? Are they making friends and keeping up with classwork? What do you do if your student needs you? These are all valid concerns. Here are four things you can expect from your student’s first six weeks at Missouri Western and how you can connect with them through their emotions.
Your student will be excited
Everything at this point in your student’s life is new and exciting. They’re making new friends. They’re attending all of the new and exciting Welcome Week events. They’re studying new subjects. They’re possibly living away from home for the first time. They’re discovering who they are as a person. With this journey comes heightened emotions. Listen to them when they talk to you. A lot of the conversations you have with your student in the next few weeks will be a lot of emotional unloading. Listen with interest, but don’t join in overenthusiastically or overcritically. Let them enjoy these moments. The stress will kick in, and soon, but for now, allow them to live in their exciting new world.
Your student will test their newly discovered freedom
Your student is 18 or almost 18. Your student is now technically an adult, and they likely won’t let you forget it. They may take this opportunity to test their freedoms and your boundaries. “But mom/dad/grandma, I’m in college now! I’m 18! I’m an adult!” is going to become common reasoning for every decision they make and a common excuse for going against your rules. You will get frustrated. You will have difficulty reasoning with them. Remember that this is just another stage in life.
They do have more freedom than in the past, but with that freedom comes a level of responsibility that they have to navigate, for better or worse. While you used to swoop in and fix their problems or be quick to reprimand them for poor decision-making, now is the time to adjust your approach. Instead of telling them what to do, encourage a discussion where you help them determine the best course of action. Encourage them to come to a solution on their own, with your guidance if needed. Trust that they are doing the right thing, and even when they make the wrong decision, avoid the impulse to immediately reprimand or correct. College is a time for learning experiences, and learning often comes from mistakes.
Homesickness may lead to frequent contact
With the excitement of the first six weeks of college comes a new level of nervousness, anxiousness, and potentially loneliness. This may lead to them feeling homesick. These feelings are completely normal, and you should prepare yourself to help them through their feelings without solving their problems or causing them any guilt.
Sometimes they may call because the most exciting thing just happened and they had to share. Other times it may be because they had a very stressful day and just need to vent. Once again, try not to give in to your impulse to fix things for them. Let them vent and express their feelings. Ask them what they are going to do about the situation. Ask them if they know of any campus resources that can help them with their issues. Your student is not alone; however, they need to take it upon themselves to reach out for the assistance that they need.
First exams are difficult
Within the first six weeks of classes, your student will encounter their first college exam. These exams are typically more difficult than high school exams and can be quite the awakening, whether your student struggled with studying in high school or was able to cruise through and get good grades without much effort. This may be one of the topics they reach out to you to vent about. Ask them what lessons they learned from their first exam experience, and what they can do to ensure that the next exam goes better.
If their first exam had a successful outcome, ask them what they can do to continue down this path of success. Remind them that there is no shame in seeking help at our Center for Academic Support – though do not push them to seek the help. This decision is one of the many that they have to make on their own as they come into their own independence.
As you can tell, Big Emotions are going to be the theme of the first six weeks – both for you and your student. You both have a lot of adjustments coming your way. Lend a sympathetic ear, assure them that you are confident in their capabilities, and always trust your student to succeed in the long run. You’re both going through a new experience. Enjoy it. The next four years are going to fly by.
