Your student has been on campus for more than two months. With fall break coming up November 18-26, this will be your student’s first extended time at home since gaining the independence of a college student. There are several things to look out for and consider in order to make this transition back to home life a positive experience for the whole family.
Get to know your student
To you, it may seem like only a few short weeks since your student has been home for an extended period of time, but to them, it has been a lifetime. They have spent the last two months learning about themselves – their passions, their boundaries, and who they want to be as a person. The student that left at the end of August is not the one that will be coming home for fall break. Take some time to get to know your student. Spend time in conversation with them about how college is going. Encourage them to share the successes and challenges that they have had so far. Get to know them not only as your child but as a newly independent adult.
At the same time, don’t forget the person they were when they left. Do they have a favorite food, movie, or activity that you typically do together? Have some of their favorites prepared for them to help them see that while they have been busy growing and changing, you are always going to be there for them. You have their back, you understand and support them, and sometimes, you just want to make them their favorite breakfast.
Big feelings about coming home
Your student will likely have big feelings about coming home for their first extended break. They have found a sense of independence and may not feel like the rules that they had before they left should still apply. Now is the time to set new guidelines and boundaries for your student. They deserve more freedom, but you need to sit down with them and work together to establish new boundaries.
Let your student express their feelings and help support them through the process. You’re proud of what they have accomplished in these few short weeks and who they are becoming as a person. Don’t be afraid to share those feelings with them, and don’t be afraid to let them share their big feelings with you, too.
Looming deadlines and finals
Fall break comes late in the semester. Your student will return to classes on November 27, then two short weeks later they will have their first college finals week. This is a stressful time for students. They are working on final projects and papers and studying as much as they can to do well on their finals.
You may be a family who is used to spending multiple days at family members’ homes celebrating Thanksgiving. Your student may come to you and tell you that they just don’t have time to go visiting, or that they have to bring their books and computer with them. They are not lying. They have a lot of work to do, and while they are technically on fall break, it is not necessarily going to be a week without schoolwork. Give them the space they need to succeed and don’t accidentally make them feel guilty for not being able to participate in as many family activities as they have in previous years.
Fall break should be a fun time for family connection. This is the first chance you have to get to know your young adult after they have spent time away. They are still in the process of growing, changing, and setting goals and boundaries for themselves. Use fall break to reconnect with your student, enjoy time together as a family, and show them how proud you are of everything they are working to accomplish in life.
